Artist's impression of this weekend.

STEP RIGHT UP TO THE PLEASUREDOME! Oh man. We love that painting. Oh man. We totally were going to sell one of The Skyline Network’s most extreme party call me executive corporate jets and then buy it, but it turns out that it’s not for sale and that sort of thing is frowned upon. But oh man, the guy who painted it has got to have the most epic name ever: Hieronymus Bosch. We used to know a guy who had a snake named that. Should we ever need an Arabian Steed, we’re totally calling it the same thing. This weekend has lots of everything. Hardcore bands. CD release shows. Old favorites playing their first shows in forever. New bands. Bands with new names. Day Shows. Night Shows. Shows in the cities. Shows in the burbs. Shows at Mexican restaurants. We’re totally overwhelmed. Let’s take a crack at it.

FRIDAY
Wild Moccasins @ Cactus Records
SHITYEAHTURDAY COMES A DAY EARLY! Cactus in-stores means 1) Starts at 5:50: HAPPY HOUR SHOW  2)FREE BEER 3)Record Shopping

Fucked Up, Iron Age, The Jonbenét and Black Congress @ Walter’s on Washington
Canadian darlings of whichever wave of hardcore we are currently in the middle of bring their non-1:30 of hate approach to the 713. Fucked Up is a great band for people that find the energy and grit of 80s hardcore endearing, but enjoy things that are a bit more nuanced, teased out and, well, smarter. Rumors abound that The Jonbenet doesn’t have too many more shows under their belt, so catch em while the catching is good. Black Congress will also, finally, but putting out a recording at this show. It’s on cassette. So begineth the next format revision war. (Also, just to clarify, because he has been making the joke pretty much to anyone that would listen, The Skyline’s ADR is not actually in Black Congress, though he continues to attempt to convince the band that he should be).

T.S.O.L., Black President, Bark Hard, Blackmarket Syndicate @ The Meridian
Looking for some slightly more conventional hardcore? You can’t get much more back-to-the-source than TSOL (True Sounds of Liberty – gawd we love how Hardcore bands sound so much TUFFER when they switch to acronyms), who got together way back in 1978 in Huntington Beach, CA. Though over the years, TSOL slowly evolved into a band with no original members and a noticible slide into metal, this lineup includes all surviving original members hopefully rocking their goth/horror-core referencing flavor of hardcore’s exciting first round in he pit.

Hell City Kings, American Fangs (EP release), Arcane Flowers and The Back Alley Sluts @ Rudyard’s
Hell City Kings (H.C.K.?) and American Fang especially are just straight up hard rocking bands that don’t need any of that hyphenated balloney. Combining elements of punk, glam and whiskey, both are acts that are going to make it especially difficult for you to remain at your table munching on French Fries and sipping on a small batch pint. “Duke,” from the ‘Fangs EP that comes out tonight is already in the running for The 2009 Skyline 50.

Tax the Wolf, Wearehalfnelson, Ellypseas @ Aztekas
Remember when there used to be that Shu Latif DJed dance party at Azteka’s called Cherry Bomb? And when The Gossip played there and The Red and White? It seemed like Westheimer might finally be getting an eatery-based venue to be the next Oven. Well, we’re not really sure what happened, but there hasn’t been much going on there in the years that followed. Tax the Wolf (who used to be called Wolves at the Door) have put a stop to that putting a stop to things. They just put out a live EP (free on their MySpace), and we’re far too tired to take a crack at what their sound is other to say other than the songs have lots of great rushing Brooklyn guitars without being particularly derivative, and totally hit us like a cup of coffee when they occasionally veer crazily into prog rock territory. (Note that the poster for this show originally said Gold Sounds were playing too, which, unfortunately, was a mis-communication. Turns out they are working on a new album and can’t make it. So that’s kinda good news).

Come See My Dead Person, Wino Vino @ Last Concert Cafe
A big ass band with violins, mandolin, banjos, guitars and all the fixings, Come See my Dead Person is a solid up and comer for people who enjoy refreshing takes on Americana like those done locally by Sideshow Tramps or Listen Listen or, more famously, by Bruce Springsteen on that one CD that still rules us so hard, but with a good dose of horror-swing murder balladry thrown in there. Horror-swing. That’s our new favorite genre.

Drop Trio @ Avant Garden
Though they used to be a weekly fixture here in the city, as Houston Calling pointed out, they haven’t been around much lately. If you’re into the idea of seeing some live jazz, but haven’t before and don’t really know where to begin, this would definitely be our recommendation as their approach is both accessible and interesting. They are most assuredly not the ‘smooth’ kind of stuff you hear on 95.7 FM (The Wave).

Dremnt The End, The Last Place You Look, Awaken From Falling @ The Scout Bar
We’ve been told that The Last Place You Look completely packed out Warehouse Live last weekend for their CD release show. If you’re down south (or looking to make the drive) and are BIG UPS on screamo, this is the show for you.

SATURDAY
Secret Shows Presents: The Mathletes, Sings, Time Machine Veterans, Guitars, Sew What and Sad Gorila
As previously reported, the weekly Saturday Secret Show at the Shady Tavern is no more, but true to his word organizer Broman has transformed the event into a secret of a different kind, where the bands are known but the location itself cloaked in mystery. That is, unless you email secretsaturdayshows@gmail.com to get the time and place. Pretty good lineup, and though we have to rush through this to go get some donuts before we are due in the office, we can tell you that this is (we thing) the first outing for TIme Machine Veterans, which includes members of By the End of Tonight, Buxton, News on the March, Wild Moccasins, Young Mammals, Giant Princess and the Mathletes. Oh, and a guy named Ike who somehow made it into this blue ribbon indie supergoup based on this own merits, so he must be a pretty kickass dude. This is an early show, and featured BBQ! So email em for the info NOW.

MV & EE, The Linus Pauling Quartet, Wols @ Rudyard’s
MV&EE’s music combines Appalachian folk, Indian ragas, and post-psychedelic experimentalism. It’s a duo at the core that collaborates with an ever-expanding group of musicians to create a sound even their wiki page describes as ‘drugged’. One of those members was J Mascis. Nuff said. Linus Pauling Quartet combines old dudes, heavy psychedelicia, and not playing a very often. Wols hasn’t played a show since their last gig at the Proletariat, due to creative core Ayme being overseas. Last time out she was joined by Mlee Marie (Hearts of Animals) and Will Adams (The Ka-Nives) as her backing band and it was absolutely excellence in freak folk.

Sugar Hill Gang, Whodini, Slick Rick, MC Lyte, & Kurtis Blow @ Arena Theatre
Like we need to tell you why this show is crucial to your being human. If Black Sheep or Big Daddy Kane was on this bill we’d have to tell everyone else playing tonight SBT.

Ume (CD release), Bring Back the Guns, Woozyhelmet @ Walter’s
The reviews that have been trickling in for former 713ers Ume’s newest joint have been practically glowing, and we have little doubt considering how they’ve taken a sound that was already pretty awesome and done SOMETHING to it to make their most recent batch of Houston excursions among the best show’s we can ever remember them putting on. Bring Back the Guns haven’t done a set since the first half of last year, and considering that bassist Shaggy is about to go participate in a NASA bedrest study, don’t look for there to be another chance to catch them for a while. The wooz opens. It says it right up there.

Hank The Destruction Moose, Drawback, The Flood, Rusted Shut, Nancy Silva Project, Focusyn @ Fitzgerald’s
Thurston Moore <3 RUSTED SHUT.

SUPERBOWL SUNDAY
The Caprolites, BLACKIE, sIngs, Trainwreck Albania, Giant Princess, Cop Warmth, The Sporatics @ Omar’s House (5109 Eula Ave., Pasadena)
Pasadena Day Show! DO IT! Starts at 2pm. Special One Time Only Reunion by The Sporatics.  BYOB. Nachos provided.