We love Pittsburgh, we really do. Mad shouts to all our people rocking the yellow and black. If there are two things we don’t like about your city, it would have to be 1) Your Hilton Hotel and its lack of Internet and 2) How all those beautifully changing leaves on your trees unleashes some sort of deadly allergen that rocked us all the way to head-cold land. Worry not, oh concerned readers. Not only are we feeling better with each four-hour acetaminophen cycle, but we have one of those gold-plated health insurance plans we keep hearing about on television. What? You thought we were born with this nose? Let’s get it started in SNEEZE.

FRIDAY:
Bart Davenport, Elaine Greer and Lucas Gorham @ Walter’s on Washington
Imagine that IKE had never happened and you and your best pals were all in Dickson hanging out on picnic tables watching the sun go down across the bay and all was grand and the sun was red on the water and the gulls in the distance were the only thing that flew and you were falling in crush with a girl you know you would kiss right around the first night it was cold enough for you both to be wearing scarves. That’s what Bart Davenport sounds like, but with more ACES soul and 70′s soft rock panache than we could ever come up with tired metaphors for. Or perhaps you might be interested in this director’s interpretation of his music:

GOSSIP: This would be a good time for Elaine Greer to fall back in love with her SG, cause she was never better than when she was playing it.
Doors at 8. Show at 9. $8.

Tambersauro (CD release show), Listen Listen, Eat Grapes, Hollywood Black @ The Mink
When we try to make on of those iTunes Genius playlists using the music Tambersauro, Listen Listen or Eat Grapes, it draws a blank. But when we use Hollywood Black as the anchor it created the most WHIPS Thursday afternoon list we’ve had the pleasure of typing to in quite some time, running the road from Metallica to Elton John to Mazzy Star to Shakira. No shit. HB’s “2000 Years of Progress” reminds iTunes of “Hips Don’t Lie”, which reminds us of the following video and subesquetly makes these kickers of the crooked shepherds our new heroes and Friday Night must sees:

Show starts at 8pm $5. The Mink is 21+

Wicked Poseur, The Secret Prostitutes, The Homopolice @ 2220 Commerce
So. Maybe you saw the Press’ write-up of the Homopolice. Perhaps you have even heard their recordings. We’re not sure if this is a Cryptic Deformation-style Rickroll or an actual ongoing concern, but what we do know (based on the band photograph) is that it involves atleast luminary potential trading-card darlings Chris Ryan (Dead City Sound) and Beau Beasley (No Talk, Insect Warfare). So, while we’re afraid to look like PUNKED (guh – can we please get a better word for it than that) by means of an endorsement, we’re pretty sure that whatever it will be will be entertaining.

ALSO:
Electric Attitude, The Backsliders, Lucas Gorham @ Rudyard’s (yes, Lucas is playing two shows tonight)
Reverend Horton Heat, Asleep At The Wheel and Whiskey River Revival @ House of Blues
Opeth, High on Fire, Baroness @ Warehouse Live

SATURDAY:
Girl Talk, Hearts of Darkness and Grand Buffet @ Warehouse Live
What’s kind of DYNAMO about the Arabic language is that, in terms of quantities, they have a singular, a plural and a dual. This is advantageous because we can use that dual thing and make a gramatically correct statement that both Night Ripper and Feed the Animals are our favorite record. Like ever. See, if there was more cultural exchanges like that between our two peoples then maybe people who listen to Rush Limbaugh wouldn’t think being Arab is a bad thing and perhaps Egyptian writers could stop churning out novels where old men having sex isn’t so big a component to the narrative.

The Jonbenet, A Dream Asleep, Balaclavas and Basses Loaded @ 2220 Commerce Street
This show is being billed as a benefit for the “Commerce Street Arts Foundation” to start fund raising to buy the actual building. Can you imagine how much the asking price on that thing must be? Holy Townhomeledo! In addition to the bands, it is being advertised that there is free food and drink (unclear what kind of ‘drink’), Fire Spinners, Belly Dancers, an installation by local grafitibrities Aerosol Warfare and “Naked Girls Getting Painted On.” So yeah. Naked Girls. Getting Painted On. Why is there never naked dudes getting painted on? That seems so much more subversive, so much more artistic. Oh nevermind, all that backhair would prolly mess up the brushes. $10.

ALSO
Alison Moyet @ Numbers
Saturday Secret Show @ The Shady Tavern

SUNDAY
BANDCAMP @ Caroline Collective
So we had this whole long thing that we wrote up about Bandcamp while we were flying back on the plane, all feverish and sick and cramped up next to a man who is no stranger to chickenwings. But once we were actually able to sit down and read a complete sentence (let alone write one) we realized that our 800 words of Benadryl-flavored bombasticism could be boiled down to this: If you’re in a band, and you’re any part of your motivation is beyond hacking around with your boyz, then you should go. (Our summary was especially thrown out the window after we read The Press and the Free Press’ takes on it – like there was anything we could ad). Essentailly, what the guys behind the Revelry Report are trying to do is introduce folks to each other and get the pot stirring for some new ideas about venues, promoting your events, etc. Now, if round tables or group discussions or any of the DAY PANEL type stuff at SXSW isn’t really your thing, that’s ok – so maybe spend the day practicing instead. But for alot of folks, the marketing of the band is kinda fun, but less so when it achieves no results.  Complete details at the BANDCAMP website.  Noon. Free.

ALSO
Portugal the Man, Earl Greyhound, Wintersleep @ The Meridian