Space and the City
Posts tagged Fatal Flying Guilloteens
PRESENTING: THE WINNERS OF THE 2008 SAMMIES (WITH SPECIAL COMMENT)
Dec 22nd
AT LONG LAST! The ballots have been counted! The Winners have been determined (some by just a few votes! Serious Squeakers)! And in some cases (aka, those folks that we saw on Saturday), the Certificates of Achievement have been distributed (if you won an award and didn’t get it, please drop us a line at the contact us link above)! And now, all that’s left to do is announce the results! But, as a special getting towards the end of the year treat, we’ve called upon some of the best minds around the world to offer some very special Special Comment on the winners! So, with a limited amount of further ado, here they are!
Favorite Live Band: Wild Moccasins
Special Comment by Keith Olbermann: If you are looking for consistency in energy and acumen at a live performance; when you want to be able to go to a show and know what you’re getting yourself into, the Wild Moccasins do have few peers, that’s what makes them the least worst people in the world. However, consider the perspective that perhaps performance with a greater deal of uncertainty at the front end can ultimately result in a different (and some might argue fuller) sense of satisfaction at what you see and hear mister President. Bands that consider their recordings as starting points, rather than scriptures, can just as easily soar as they can utterly disappoint, but on the whole we appreciate those that dare with the boundaries of their writing, their performing and even their own membership. For that reason, though we cannot disagree with a perspective on this category that put the Wild Moccasins on top, thats why in our special comment the leastest worstest is for Indian Jewelry.
Favorite Band in the Studio: Buxton
Special Comment by serious cat: Though cost can be a limiting factor (though real talk: it’s cheaper than you think at several places in town. Good places), one thing that the studio grants the performer is the ability to add depth and nuance to songs they have honed in the practice space and on the stage. Even if, as a band, you’re looking for a stripped down sound that provides no additional instrumentation or layering, the studio affords opportunity. When we listen through local records, one band in particular strikes us as having used the studio to extend their songs into new sonic spaces beyond where they exist live. Their recordings have consistently added complimenting guitars and pet sounds their solid straight-up performances. So while A Family Light is a fantastic recording in production, composition and execution, we cast our vote for the Papermoons.
Band that Blew up the 713: B L A C K I E
Special Comment by those two guys that own Suit Mart: At Suit Mart, we Dare to Compare. Men’s pleated khakis, Mervyn’s price is $23.99, at Suit Mart just fifteen bucks! If you had told us a year ago that a rapper from La Porte would be the band that would have garnered the most votes from The Skyline Network’s readers , we would have been all “Hooded Leather Jackets: Burlington Coat Factory Price $119.99, Suit Mart Price, $229.99!” Cause that’s like crazy! We’re the home of the 2-fer for crying out loud in a loafer. Suit Mart. Awesome!
Most Unfortunate Breakup: The Fatal Flying Guilloteens
Special Comment by Bert Shipley: the “un” in front of this must be a typo because, to be honest this shit’s been 11 years in the making. I mean, hey at least they finally accomplished something, breaking up. Great job guys.
p.s. you owe me $30 for an oil change on my old van.
[Editor's Special Comment: a member of the FFG swears to us that they have not, in fact, broken up and that shows will happen again soon. In light of this, and in light of learning that Powerhouse actually has kicked the can, we reserve the right to change the results of this election and declare POWERHOUSE the winners.]
Favorite Punks: Something Fierce
Special Comment by Joe Walsh: Sometimes I can’t help the feeling that I’m living a life of illusion. And oh, why can’t we let it be and see through the hole in this wall of confusion. I just can’t help the feeling, i’m living a life of illusion. Pow! Right between the eyes, Oh, how nature loves her little surprises. Wow! It all seems so logical now. It’s just one of her better disguises and it comes with no warning. Nature loves her little surprises, continual crisis. Hey, don’t you know it’s a waste of your day, caught up in endless solutions that have no meaning, just another hunch based upon jumping conclusions. Caught up in endless solutions, backed up against a wall of confusion living a life of illusion. Oh yeah, and because I know you are curious, yes, I am a tattoo on someone’s bicep.
Favorite Popsters: Wild Moccasins
Special Comment by The Lollypop Guild: Weeeeeee represent, the Lollypop Guild, the Lollypop Guild, the Lollypop Guild, and in the name of the Lollypop Guiiiiiiiiiiild, we wish to welcome you to Munchkin Land.
Favorite Rockers: American Sharks
Special Comment by the judges panel of American Idols and the Fonz:
Favorite WTFers: The Wiggins
Special Comment by Black Leather Jesus: WTF?
Loudest: The Jonbenet
Special Comment by Nancy Grace: Now, I’m not pretending to be anything but a crime victim who went to law school and tried a lot of cases. You know, part of what the problem is is that you and people like you are blinded by celebrity, when the truth of the matter is if everyone just carried a little Jonbenet locket around their necks and opened it when they needed to make a racket and scare off the bad people, all of this, including my own show, could be avoided. Actually, scrub that, nobody carry around the Jonbenet.
Quietest : Elaine Greer
Special Comment by Roger Taylor’s Roto Toms: Hi, it’s me, Roger Taylor’s Roto Toms. He’s the drummer from Queen and I’m those hella 80’s sounding high pitched tom drums that generally do not have a place on a respectable individual’s drum set. I mean, you literally have to be the drummer for Queen and responsible for something like the epic drum break ¾ way through ‘Fat Bottom Girls’ to get away with having me on your kit. So yeah, like Elaine, most of the time I’m pretty quiet. There isn’t really much occasion to use me at most moments, and so you don’t get to hear my forceful, distinct and yet muted percussiveness very often. But when you do, man, do I rule.
Favorite Solo Performer: Elaine Greer
Special Comment by Dick Valentine (Electric Six): SOLO!
Favorite 7” Record: The Monocles/News on the March Halloween Party Split
Special Comment by a delicious Dairy Queen Banana Split: Sup. Banana Split here. You know, all the time people are like “Damn Banana Split, why you such a contradiction? How you got fruit in there and it’s not even chopped up? How come you get to be the only sundae that has a topping that you might also slice up and put on your breakfast cereal.” And I’m like “Say, why so serious? Don’t you know that contrast is all the rage? Things that shouldn’t work together almost always do. It’s like Pigs and Frogs man, Pigs and Frogs”
Favorite Full Length Record: Buxton – A Family Light
Special Comment by the official Skyline Network iPod: We enjoy you so much, that it took too much of the wonder, beauty and fun out of you to ever do a proper review. We simply loose ourselves in the pure aural attainment. Them’s the breaks, and here’s to hoping your upcoming 7” is totally in the same vein. Unless you want a review.
Favorite EP: Wild Moccasins – Diamonds for Constellations
Special Comment by Chrystler and GM: HEY! This was a Grey Ghost release right? So you ended up only selling 13 of them. Well, we know a thing or two about only being able to sell a few of a product, and let me tell you, you can still make a living at it. Granted, yours was a quality product and is something that people actually want to own, but trust us when we say there’s no need for you to do a second pressing. That’s right, congressional bailout. Just take our advice and don’t fly your corporate jet down there when you go begging for gear funds. Phew, those senators are a helluva tough room. Gotta jet, gonna go camping in our Pontiac Aztek. Check ya later!
Favorite Artwork: B L A C K I E – Wilderness in North America
Special Comment by The Big Star Bar Fire Pit: Dearest BLACKIE. I am sorry that, during the climax of my own flickering and flaming, members of the band Black Congress felt compelled to feed your Sammy Awards to me. I am a primitive animal, nay even more instinct, and I cannot help but ingest what is placed in my roaring belly. It is my understanding that the aforementioned often go into fits of rage and engage in feats of strength upon learning that any other act has appropriated the colorful adjective in their nomer, which is why they are banned from all Black Crowes concert for eternity. May we suggest this be settled the only way gentlemen should settle things in these turbulent times: A Battle of the Bands in the parking lot of the Heights Sporting Club.
Favorite H-Town Label: Mia Kat and Dull Knife (tie)
Special Comment by Bono: You know, I really wanted to start my own label one day called These City Walls Will Crumble Beneath the Debt Forgiving Weight of these Glasses. However, it turns out that it’s not really a cake walk to whittle down which bands you want to put out and then the whole production process, to say nothing of sales and marketing and a big TRYING TO THROW MY ARMS AROUND THE WORLD to these labels cause like that’s a lot of work and I think it will be easier to get Zanzibar out from under their IMF loan.PS – Can I look like Lou Reed soon?
Favorite Happy Hour Bar: Poison Girl
Special Comment by John McLaughlin: On a scale of 0 to 10, where 0 represents no mathematical possibility of it occurring and 10 being complete metaphysical certainty of coming to be, we would have to state that this answer is… 10! CORRECT!
Favorite Nite Time Bar: Rudyard’s
Special Comment by Jim Lehrer: Welcome to News Hour I’m Jim Lehrer. Our top stories tonight: readers of The Skyline Network vote Rudyard’s Pub their Favorite Nite Time Bar. In Pakistan, the government of Yousaf Raza Gilani faced new questions about its ability to rule effectively when it was revealed that he has an extremely similar last name to former NY mayor and recent Republican presidential contender Rudolph P. Giuliani. And in Houston, Rudyard’s British Pub took the opportunity of a mild freezing rain to raise the price of Lone Star to six dollars a bottle.
Favorite Venue: Walter’s on Washington
Special Comment by Coach Lohan Springer: Wow. I never thought I would live to see the day when this was actually the correct answer.
Favorite Local Festival: Westheimer Block Party
Special Comment by Perry Ferrell: Shit. Man. Yeah, this was kind of what I was going for. My bad to everyone who has paid $8 for a bottle of water at Lollapalooza or missed Lush while they were waiting in line in shit up their ankles to take a piss.
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALMOST NO-ONE!
Jul 31st
Weeeell, the results are in from the 2008 Houston Press Music Awards, and while there were some winners in the scene we all breathe and love, we have to say that our enthusiasm for the results is tempered. Be it voter apathy or competitive categories splitting the Hands_Up vote, it looks like that the sector of the city long regarded as being the most into that rock and roll music walked away with little more than its back beat and a post-showcase hangover. HIGHTLIGHTS:
Best New Act: The Tontons
Grand Opening, Grand Closing as the band is set to go for an extended period without doing much of anything while vocalist Asli Omar is out of town. Catch their smoky picnic table blues Friday at Fitz, Saturday at the Secret Show Festival, or next week at a few shows in Savannah Georgia.
Best Drummer: Shane Lauder (Sideshow Tramps/Born Liars)
Good to see the Liars getting some recognition (but it wouldn’t be going out on a limb to say that he won because of the words “sideshow” and “tramps.” Real talk, their recent release (among others) makes us think there should be a Best 7 Inch category next years. Actually scratch that, we are saving it for our annual awards.
Best Experimental: Studemont Project
Jandek snubbed again, and, as if UGK sweeping the Album, Song and Musicians of the year categories was not hint enough, we are all reminded that H-Town is a Rap Town, so notions of what constitutes “experimental music” varies widely.
Best Indie Rock: Spain Colored Orange
Ok dudes. Real talk. It’s time for the album to come out.
Best Keyboard Player: Gilbert Alfaro (Spain Colored Orange)
Hey dude. Real talk. It’s time for you to drop that album on us.
Best Tribute Band: Beetle
Beetle freaking rules and if you are thinking to yourself “gee, I really could use some wholesome fun on a Thursday early evening” then you clearly have not been to their FREE weekly Happy Hour gigs at the Continental. Epic. Yes, we were so shut out of the awards this year that we are digressing into the Tribute category.
Best Unclassifiable Band: Black Math Experiment
Hahah, pulled out of a nearly month-long retirement to both play a nominating showcase and then collect an award. For serious, though, BME’s fans have voted them at the top of every contest they have ever been up for (remember when they were elected to open for The Misfits?). ATTN OTHER BANDS – are the people who come to your shows that stoked about you?
Best Metal: Golden Axe
Agreed
Best New Club: Boondocks
We still haven’t quite figured out what all the hate is about this place. They have freaking free BBQ on Sundays, a photo booth and an upstairs. FREE BBQ SUNDAYS. Plus, $0 shows atleast once a week and a cheap as plastic Happy Hour. Oh, and the staff are all LORDS OF WHIPS. Although real talk, they got to do something about that late afternoon sun on the patio. Totally killing their scene.
Best Live Music Venue: Warehouse Live
Considering the number of defuncts (or nearly) to win and be nominated this year, we cannot believe that the Engine Room did not win.
Best Record Store: Cactus Records
Gotta say it, we never liked the old Cactus. Never did it for us, not really sure why. We like what the new one is doing in a big way. So even though Sound Exchange cannot be beat for the local selection, we dig heavy on this place now.
Best Equipment Store: Guitar Center
I hope the higher-ups at Guitar Center Corporate know that Levi Johnson has done more to ingratiate their brand to Houston musicians than all the radio spots and glossy direct mails they can produce combined. One aces as Mata dude with a love for music and musicians (and great taste in it too – now on our check-out list due to his recommendation: World’s Most Dangerous) did more for them than Evan’s Music City having an in-venue banner at every place where a vote was cast Sunday.
Best Radio Station: KPFT
Not even by a long shot. Although there are notable exceptions, the quality of programming at KPFT continues to spiral to new identity politics-driven lows. If you think nothing makes your blood boil more than the way Ed Mayberry pronounces “business”, spend a little time listening to this station.
Best Local Label: Mia Kat Empire
Buxton, Hollywood Black and others make up their roster. Serious props are due for beating out more nationally known outfits like Swisha House or Rap-A-Lot.
CONDOLENCES TO:
Fatal Flying Guilloteens and Indian Jewelry, who both lost in four categories each; Arthur Yoria and Buxton who walked away 0 for 3; Hearts of Animals, Sharks and Sailors and Scattered Pages who were likewise shut out of their two-each nominations; and Balaclavas, Bring Back the Guns, By The End of Tonight, Hell City Kings, Insect Warfare, Jana Hunter, The Literary Greats, The Mathletes, Penny Royal, Something Fierce, Two Star Symphony and Whorehound who each blew their one shot at fame. Better Luck Next Year.
Real talk: Thats a long list of talent and a helluva good impression of our record collection. What was your biggest suprise or upset?
TODAY IS BALLOT DAY!!! YUSSS!
Jul 2nd
UPDATE: 2:26 PM: Breakdown of the Ballot by Artist and number of nominations. Fatal Flying Guilloteens and Indian Jewelry come out on top in our cloud with four each:
- Fatal Flying Guilloteens (4) – Musician of the Year, Best Guitarist, Best Punk, Best Male Vocalist
- Indian Jewelry (4) – Best Album, Best Song, Musician of the Year, Best Unclassified Band
- Arthur Yoria (3) – Best Songwriter, Musician of the Year, Best Male Vocalist
- Black Math Experiment (3) – Best Album, Best Song, Best Unclassified Band
- Born Liars (3)– Best New Act, Best Drummer, Best Traditional
- Buxton (3) – Best Local Album, Miscellaneous Instrumentalist, Best Neo-Folk
- Spain Colored Orange (3) – Best Miscellaneous Instrumentalist, Best Keyboard Player, Best Indie Rock
- The Tontons (3) – Best Local Album, Best New Act, Best Female Vocalist
- Hearts of Animals (2) – Best New Act, Best Experimental
- Scattered Pages (2) – Best Drummer, Best Neo-Folk
- Sharks and Sailors (2) – Best Bassist, Best Indie Rock
- Balaclavas (1)– Best Indie Rock
- Bring Back the Guns (1) – Best Guitarist
- By The End of Tonight (1) – Best Experimental
- Golden Axe (1) – Best Metal
- Hell City Kings (1) – Best Punk
- Insect Warfare (1) – Best Metal
- Jana Hunter (1) – Best Neo-Folk
- The Literary Greats (1) – Best New Act
- The Mathletes (1) – Best Experimental
- Penny Royal (1) – Best Unclassified Band
- Poor Dumb Bastards (1) – Best Punk
- Something Fierce (1) – Best Punk
- Two Star Symphony (1) – Best Unclassified Band
- Whorehound (1) – Best Metal
UPDATE 1:56 PM: Born Liars are (oddly) in the Roots Rock category, while Buxton, Jana Hunter and the Scattered Pages all turn up in another new designation “Neo-Folk.” Arthur Yoria and Shawn Adolph (Fatal Flying Guilloteens) are both up for best Male Vocals, while The Ton Tons Asli Omar is in for the Female side of things. Everything else is just details and write ins! Phew what a rush!
UPDATE 1:52 PM: The Experimental category is unreal, with Hearts of Animals, The Mathletes, By the End of Tonight and The Wiggins all competing for the glory. Likewise Indie Rock with veterans Spain Colored Orange, Sharks and Sailors and Young Mammals being joined by newcomers Wild Moccasins and Balaclavas. Something Fierce, Hell City Kings, Fatal Flying Guilloteens and the Poor Dumb Bastards will all likely lose to Los Skarnales in Best Punk. The new category (we think) best Unclassified Bands sweeps up The Small Sounds, Black Math Experiment, Penny Royal, Two Star Symphony and Indian Jewelry. Metal has a tough call to make between Whorehound, Golden Axe and Insect Warfare.
UPDATE 1:46 PM: Moving into the instrument categories, Erik Bogle (Bring Back the Guns, Fatal Flying Guilloteens) is up for Best Guitarist, Shaun Lauder (Born Liars) and Andy McWilliams (Scattered Pages) for drums, Erik Jackson (Spain Colored Orange) and Jason Willis (Buxton) for Miscellaneous Instrument, Melissa Lonchambon (Sharks and Sailors) for Bassist and Gilbert Alfaro (Spain Colored Orange) for Keyboards.
UPDATE 1:42 PM: Best New Act is another full slate of our favorites: Born Liars, Wild Moccasins, The Tontons, Hearts of Animals and The Literary Greats. Arthur Yoria gets a nod for Best Songwriter, and is also up for Local Musician of the Year along with the Guilloteens and Indian Jewelry.
UPDATE 1:39 PM: Skyline Favorites sweep Best Local Album, with releases by Indian Jewelry, Buxton, Black Math Experiment and The Tontons up for nomination. BME and Indian Jewelry also up for best song with “Everyone is Gay” and “Swans”, respectively.
UPDATE 1:32 PM: Ok, Our sources indicate that the truck has arrived. Banner ads have started popping up on the Houston Press website with links to the ballot. We’re pouring over it now. We couldn’t be more excited. We’re huge dorks. From our initial look, it’s full of CONTROVERSY! For example: Neither Bring Back the Guns’ Dry Futures or The Fatal Flying Guilloteens Quantum F*cking are nominated for Album of the Year.
WOAH WOAH HOLD ON THERE VACATION – WE ALMOST FORGOT A THING. Yep, it’s our favorite day of the year – BALLOT DAY. Today, The Houston Press will unveil the candidates for this year’s Music Awards. Then the PR campaigns begin, including a bacchanalian showcase of showdowns (July 27th this year, when you will be no doubt recovering from your evening spent at HOOTENANY 2: TWOTENANNY!), and culminating in an awards show complete with musical performers, trophies, no-shows and Michael Garfield, the High Tech Texan! STOKED! It’s like Oscars season, just with different zip codes, somewhat smaller budgets and a much higher percentage of fixed-gear bicycle ownership.
SO – it being the start of the season, we have rushed back to Houston on The Skyline Network Most Extreme Party Call Me Of The Gods jet and touched down only hours ago, going full tilt on our Segways to the nearest Houston Press corner newspaper box only to discover…. LAST WEEK’S ISSUE!!! We messaged our most extremely secret contact at the Press, and they told us that there may be a problem with the truck delivering the papers, and that they weren’t out on the street yet. OH MAN WE NEED A NEW STORY GRAPHIC:
“TRUCK PROBLEMS” delivering the ballots?! Sounds kinda Mugabe to us!!! Don’t worry Houston – we will be sure to keep our eyes of the freedom eagle on this breaking story, and will post updates as needed. It’s good to be back home and we’re super stoked about today and the month to come. PARTY CALL US!!!
GLITTERATI: RECENT PULLS FROM THE FLICKR POOL!
Apr 4th
Warren of Golden Axe by Elissa Brown
Here are some of our fav recent submissions to The Skyline Network’s flickr pool. Its ok, we sometimes forget we have one too. To get your photos in the bucket, just tag them with ‘theskylinenetwork’ and let science do the rest. Yusss – science.
The Dirtbombs by Ramon Medina
Shawn of the Fatal Flying Guilloteens by Chester Soria
Erik Bogle (BBTG, FFG) totally interferes with an American Sharks show by Michelle.
