PREDICTION: SOMEWHERE TODAY THE BLAGGARDS WILL BE PLAYING

You know what is one of our favorite books here in the office? If you said How the Irish Saved Civilization, then you, good friend, have a psychic gift similar to the person our chief editor met last night who guessed his birthday five minutes after meeting her. He's still freaked out by it. He tells us he'll get out from under the bed soon. MEANWHILE! Being a civilization-saving people is no easy burden, and therefore when we celebrate our most famous non-Bono countryman, it's somewhat sad but true that many of the songs sung to not extol the virtues of remaining on the wagon.

And this St. Patty's day is neigh an exception. For the love of the County Claire, we beseech you to check out one bit of music or another brought to you by lovable local lads who may or may not be of the finest stock on the planet (note - just a friendly reminder to all you goolge calendar users out there: you can have our show list appear as a layer on your schedule. Click here to add it. How civilization saving).

So Many Dynamos, Blarney Back the Guns, Something Fierce, Gentleman Auction House @ Boondocks
Pitchfork, in their recount of SXSW happenings noted that "Very few bands manage to put on a spazzy, high-energy live show and still have great songs (think Brainiac and the Dismemberment Plan), and So Many Dynamos are one of them." But many of us already knew that. So be sure to catch them before they become a bunch of designer-jeans wearing sell out jerks like Bring Back the Guns, who stopped taking our phone calls ever since they were on some Oprah-hosted reality show last night with Tony Hawk. SK8 OR DIE! There is no feed for us to fawn over Something Fierce of Gentleman Auction house (currently on tour with the Dynamos. Also, this show is free.

Birds of Avalon, Monotonix, Dark Meat, Sharks and Sailors @ The Mink
OH MAN OH MAN! Monotonix was blowin up at SXSW like our IRA!! (Our retirement account, not the terrorist group. jerk). We seriously got alot of good feedback about this band over the weekend, and it won't be long before the abuzz about them means they'll never come to Texas again. Also, Sharks and Sailors just posted some pretty BA new tracks on their MySpace - a surprising departure from what they've done in the past that works unicorns on us.

Little Claw, Tyvek, The Wiggins @ Jet Lounge
Really? All three of these shows are tonight? Wait a sec, we need to put something in here.



Ah there it is. Doesn't really make us feel any better about it. What can be done. Oh well. Seriously Jet Lounge on a Monday sounds like a nice respite from the Orangemen for real. Party call me.

PS: The Blaggards are playing in Austin today. BOO!

THE SKYLINE 50: PART THREE

Part Three of our all-week series sharing our 50 favorite tracks to come out of the city this year.

Hearts Break – Hearts of Animals
Lemming Baby
We’re not entirely convinced that Mlee Marie didn’t just get dropped off by some well meaning spirit in the sky, complete with a back-story, back-catalog and pointy auburn guitar. A year ago, we didn’t know her from Eve, today, we can’t turn around without stumbling upon some new project she’s involved with. But this was the song that got it started for us – simple, sweet, coy; freight trains and hearts you really believe are broken. Yes, it's true, we made a Doctor and the Medics reference.


Hello Boss!!! – Fatal Flying Guilloteens
Quantum ****ing
Remember when you were a kid and there were still tapes and it always seemed like the first thing you did when you tore one out of its shrink-plastic was fast-forward it to the first song on the second side – like it was the FCC mandated position for the most bangin’ radio single of all times of that week. OH SNAP! MOTOWN PHILLY BACK AGAIN! Now somewhat older, possessed of more wisdom perhaps but less likely to act on it, we tend to listen to our records straight through. That’s why we love a break you off somethin’ lead off like this one. (Excluding the intro, of course. By the way, what ever happened to that original French Kiss name-checking intro that had the back bacon references?) A total next-level departure from previous Guilloteen full lengths is stuffed in the ballot box from the get go, and isn’t it great to hear McManus in action one last time?


Honesty – Papermoons
Papermoons 7”
Sitting on a grassy little embankement watching a girl you’ll never get teach the neighborhood kids how to play kickball is not how one should spend their Sunday afternoons. You should be at home with your mates planning a tour where you take a day off to catch the Superdrag reunion show and coaxing worthwhile sounds out of an accordion you bought for a dollar off the wall of a bootmaker’s shed at a flea market. Pinhole cameras, pinwheels on beachbikes and songs like this are antidote to the too much of anything we are all sometimes seduced into feeling. Grab your kite.


I Drempt of a Terrible Adieu – Listen Listen
Listen Listen
The Listen Listen ep is made of wood. The packaging anyways. Sometimes we wonder if perhaps this is because, once the recording was complete, they chopped their instruments up with axes so as to exile the demons that had no doubt taken residence inside during the creation of such a melancholy opus. Prolly the saddest song on our countdown (oh and bonus – suicide lyrical content), only a master along the lines of Kacey Kasem could ever segue between this banjo plucking dirge and, say, an Arthur Yoria song that happened to have the same instrument in the background.


I Told You Not To Write Again – Arthur Yoria
Handshake Smiles
Here’s a tip on how to get into this countdown every year. Be Arthur Yoria. Write a song about some impossibly common aspect of the human condition that had somehow not occurred to anyone was an impossibly common aspect of the human condition. Add some egg shakers. Play a banjo in the background. Arthur: please record another record soon, we need more insight into our own lives. kthanx


In Piles/Files – Bring Back the Guns
Dry Futures
ATTN T-PAIN: We got your next remix ring-tone right here. Piles/Files is a rock club shredertainer that is to the 2007 live show what apple is to strudel and unfortunate berry combinations is to Kosher wine. If this jam was cattle, it would be an entire cow made of whips pre-seasoned center-cut fillet (is that even possible?) served on a solid 28” platinum plate to Kanye West in his V inspired mothership hovering above the Source Awards. PARTY CALL ME.


James Ralph Brown Part II – Riff Tiffs
Afflictinnitus
Judging by the reaction of their fans to our review of their full length, there is an entire legion of the Riff Tiff Army that does not think it is a compliment to have your music designated as the eternal soundtrack to Puff Daddy’s voyages through the ocean depths should he ever be transformed into a Dolphin. Whatever. Those people have no idea what they’re even talking about. If they can think of a better song to glide along to should you ever awaken to discover you’ve been metamophesized into a marine mammal named Franz, we’re all flippers to hear what it is.


Legion of Serpents – Fatal Flying Guilloteens
Quantum ****ing
We heard this uncharacteristically long and tempoed song was the first ever Roy Mata Guilloteens composition. This is no doubt why we are so GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT. (rewind) GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT GET INTO IT (rewind). (Realize we have drive all the way to Juarez with this song on repeat when our intent was only to goto La Tapatia.)


Lonely Goodbye – Paris Falls
Lonely Goodbye (single)
It says something when a local band goes to the trouble of self-releasing a two-song single when they’ve just dropped one pretty aces full length and have a second all wrapped up and in shop-around mode. It’s a special song to them, to be sure - one they had to get out there in the intra-release interim for whatever reason (if we were a thoughtful site, it might have occurred to us to ask them before this moment what that reason might be). It’s a tender and warm lullaby; a blanket of leaves in a rural yard beyond the times. It’s why more musicians should get married and till death do they record.


Lucky – Paris Falls
Vol. I
Paris Falls has their own lighting rig, complete with the ability to trigger it for choreography with what they’re playing at the moment. If you have such a setup, you’ve got to bring the minerals to the water, or else you’re just going to be that group of wankers who thought they were too good for the illumination options the rest of the bands were ok with. But here’s the key – PF aren’t just great musicians and songwriters, they’re great showmen too. Not in the spandex pants kick and splits jump vein, mind you, but in the fact that they see a gig as more than just a thing – as something more akin to the original meaning of the word ‘show’. The whole thing tells the tale of a quartet who take things a bit further than just showing up. The same care went into their Vol I, and this song especially.

THE SKYLINE 50: OUR FAVORITE SONGS OF THE YEAR, PART ONE

OH SNAP! This has been such a whips year for local releases. The beautiful people that we all rub elbows with on a daily basis have put out a slew of aces recordings, both those barely registering on the local radar and ones getting good reviews in publications across our mighty and rarely making erroneous foreign-policy decisionsish nation. Therefore, in the week leading up to the announcement of our first ever SAMMIES AWARDS (you’ve voted, right?), we are pleased to unleash upon you our fifty favorite tracks 0f 2007. To qualify, the songs need only have been released on some media or another (LP, CD, CDR, tape – whatever) and be really really party call me.

So, without further ado, we present the 2007 Houston 50, in totally non-biast alphabetical order:

Alien Abduction – Linus Pauling Quartet
All Things are Light
What better way to start our countdown than with a nearly nine minute album-opening opus by one of the 713’s has-been-around-but-definitely-not-has-been stardog champions. Combining the big fuzz that got you listening to Soundgarden in the first place with enough of a groove to tempt Herbie Hancock, Abduction rides out her parts to the last exit for Roswell and then loops back around to enjoy the drive a little longer.


Ankstiyeti – Cop Warmth
Centaur Cop Top
We remember in High School there was this total dish of a photographer who wrote angry editorials in the school paper and once took this picture of a rack of girl’s clothes, all identical and neatly placed next to each other, under a sign that said “Be an Individual.” We freely admit that we were not yet sophisticated enough to immediately understand a pictorial representation of the irony of wanting to be different just like everyone else. In a sense, Anksiyeti is similarly satiric of that part of life, with its demand that no on/every stop looking. It baffles us to no end how a song so chaotic can be so catchy at the same time.


Art of Malnutrition – Bring Back the Guns
Dry Futures
A friend of The Skyline (and BBTG) asked the question, can a song that’s been played live for so long really be considered one of 2007’s best? Yes. Absolutely. Even if it had taken another five years for this record to finally come out, this song would have been one of 2012’s best. A band notorious for not riding out any of the gunch-busting riffs that pack their songs like a wet burrito, Malnutrition is one of those rare exceptions where an almost, dare we say it, conventional approach to rocking out pays off like Casa Ole green dip. Pass the salt.


Ashes – Balaclavas
Inferno
When we first heard this ep, we immediately got in touch with Chris Ryan over at Dead City Sound to ask how he recorded the bass on it. While we won’t reveal his secret, we will say that in terms of the tone it’s a complete departure and total breakthrough for the band. It slinks around heavily and without hard edges, like a gigantic scorpion’s tail stabbing about with unknown intentions in the dark. On Inferno especially, it adds a new form of pleasurable disquiet to what was already one of the most unique sounding acts in town. It gives us the creeps and we love it.


At a Second Glance – Balaclavas
Balaclavas
Sometimes, you’re supposed to avert your eyes and not look directly at something, even when it might be polite to look just as though there were nothing shameful, awful or disturbing about what you’re seeing -because you know that, if you look away, every muscle in your neck and ocular sockets will try instinctively to go back for that second, perversely satisfying glance. For us, this song isn’t about that second look – it’s the struggle not to, and the bit of self loathing when you do.


Beatle Battle – Golden Axe
Kill Them Allah
If Golden Axe had put out a 50 song release, they would be the only band in the top 50 this year. Fortunately for everyone else who poured blood, sweat and tears into their Tele’s f-holes during 2007, Golden Axe did just a Grey Ghost single this, which means that there isn’t an overwhelming amount of material evidence that your band is not as good as Golden Axe and that you really should stop practicing right now and start spending more time planning for what the world will be like when it is ruled by James and Warren’s benevolent co-dictatorship.


Bird – Jana Hunter
There’s No Home
We iTuned this album, as it came out on the net a few weeks before the actual release, and we needed something that reminded us of home to listen to while we walked aimlessly around the akward Stevedore paradise of Long Beach, California. As such, we’ve never (to this day) seen the credits for this song and who all it is that’s singing and strumming along with our city's favorite daughter-in-exile. Even if there isn’t one, this track always sounds like home to us, and every few months we’re both surprised and not to learn of someone else we know who was sitting around the campfire when the gentle romp got put to tape. Come home soon.


Bruise the Paper – The Western Civilization
Letters of Resignation
Aside from platinum selling and prematurely deceasing rappers, Houston is generally know for bands that ride in a very different bumper car from bands like The Western Civilization. Bruise the Paper, in spite of lyrics that might get a troubadour down, is pure pop bliss. But this syrup is anything but factory processed maple that’s never seen the inside of a tree – so far from it. This taste of Karo doesn’t have a lot of local contemporaries, but they’ve sure got the pancakes to put them on.


Cuttin’ a Rug – Arthur Yoria
Handshake Smiles
We’ve heard the studio chatter lead-in to this song, “I do need a click for this one,” so many times this past year that we’re more than a little astonished it hasn’t become a catch-phrase around the newsroom along the lines of the now ubiquitous “oh word?” Frankly, we wonder why Arthur Yoria isn’t more ubiquitous either. It doesn’t speak very highly of the music industry that Cuttin’ a Rug hasn’t cut its way up the charts of some sort. Maybe it’s for the best, as it means we get to keep our local treasure around just a little longer. Party call me.


Drugs and Drawing – Wicked Poseur
Wicked Poseur 7”
Arthur Bates is a weird weird weird dude. We’re not really convinced that this song is about drugs or art. Seems too obvious and, well, not weird enough. That’s pretty subversive, to write a song about the role of chemical substances in artistic expression and spell it out plainly but still have people wondering "yeah, but what is he really talking about here.” Weird.

ROAD UPDATES: GUILLOTEENS, GUNS GO CMJAZY! WESTERN CIV TAKE A SHOWER! PAPERMOONS SLACK FOR SUPERDRAG!

Well it must be Fall, because CMJ, New York’s considerably more leaf-turned version of SXSW (but with larger distances between venues) is kicking off this very day. And two of our own have forked over the dough to Jet Blue for a little fun in the Big Apple sun. Specifically, we’re talking about Bring Back the Guns and the Fatal Flying Guilloteens, who both decided that October was the month to release a pair of knock-out party rockers. The Guilloteens have up to four shows that they can take the wrong subway to, while the Guns have a single show. So, all you Houston exiles, get yr ass out and see what these kids have been up to. Also, lend them a floor and a place to shower.

Guilloteens Shows:
Oct 17 – Soundfix Records (Brooklyn) w/The Big Sleep
Oct 18 – Paino’s (Manhattan) w/The Big Sleep & Cut Off Your Hands
Oct 19 – R Bar (Brooklyn) w/ Islands, Saturday Looks Good to Me, Black Kids and Other Passangers
Oct 19 – Galapagos (Brooklyn) w/Jay Retard, Foreign Born, A Place to Bury Stranges , Holy Hail and More

Bring Back the Guns
Oct 20 – The Annex (Lower East Side)

Speaking of taking a shower, we got word from Reggie of the presently free-agent Western Civilization that, as of Monday, they had finally broken down, gotten a hotel room and taken their first shower in seven days. HOT. Can’t wait to hear the b-side about that. The kids who make the birds sing were holed up in Baltimore and should be back on the road by now. They’ve still got a few shows left before they return in the big white van to the 713, so if you happen to cross their paths, stop in for a listen:

Oct 17 - TBA - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Oct 22 - TBA - Cleveland, Ohio
Oct 23 - The Nite Owl - Dayton, Ohio
Oct 26 - MEMORIAL UNION - der Rathskeller (UW Campus) Madison, Wisconsin
Oct 29 - The Way Out - St. Louis, Missouri
Oct 31 - The Gypsy - Fayetteville, Arkansas
Nov 1 - Convergence - Oklahoma City
Nov 3 - Emo’s – Austin

Also out on the road at present are none other than the Civ’s kindred spirits, the Papermoons, who knocked our socks off last month at Walter’s. We’ve been studying their 7” ever since and think that you should to, if for no other reason than that this drifting duo is taking a day off from their current tour to see a Superdrag reunion show. Yep. Superdrag. If there is anyone we love as much as Spacehog, it may well be the Knoxville power-poppers, and had we known about this event, it might be possible that we’d be driving their van. Check the rest of their scheduled romp through some of John Cougar Melloncamp’s favorite parts of the country.

Oct 17 - The Matinee - Highland Square, Ohio
Oct 18 - The DAAC - Grand Rapids, Michigan
Oct 19 - 403 Kling St. - AKRON, Ohio
Oct 20 - Day off for SUPERDRAG reunion!
Oct 21 - Old City Java - Knoxville, Tennessee
Oct 22 - The Mug - Mobile, Alabama
Oct 28 - 1982 Bar - Gainesville, Florida

That’s all we have on their schedule right now – not sure what they’re up to between Florida and here. Maybe something. Maybe nothing. Maybe a Better than Ezra reunion in New Orleans. Who can say. Drive safe everyone.

Van Photo by IwateBuddy.

REVIEW: BRING BACK THE GUNS - DRY FUTURES

It's not a mistake, or if so it is fortuitous, that the opening track to Bring Back the Guns' years-in-the-making debut, the minute and a half screamer 'No More Good Songs,' starts things the way it does. The opening drum hits, combining the impatient clang of a cell-block cup and plate protest chant with the pent-up stomp of an angry bull, signal that this record is a beast that has been waiting to get out the gates for too too long. In drop percussive scrapes of guitar clawing at the latch and the lock. And with bass and vocals, it is rocketing. By the time a voice shrieks the line "IT'S A LIST OF THINGS GONE WRONG!" you can't help but wondering if that extra bit of spit behind it isn't a reference to the tumults and summersaults involved in getting the album complete (well documented by the Houston Press in their review of the record).

In return for all the wait and the wonder, this album repays with weight. Dry Futures changes parts, tempos and timing like Girl Talk does samples, dropping snarling ear-sticking hooks in and out of the arrangement just at the moment they wet your appetite, often never to be heard again until you hit the rewind button. The dedication to irregular numerology and tightness that this collection of 11 bangers exhibits would make a carpenter’s square envious, while not a moment of even verges on mathy. We remember once hearing about how the Guns wanted to write pop songs that were challenging and smart. This is a dumb statement because pop songs are pop songs in no small part because they are dumb and easy. That was a dumb belief because Dry Futures shows how to do just that.

By stringing together an avalanche of chicken-nugget sized straight-ahead guitar, drum and bass parts, some of them completely thrown away (seriously – ride some of these riffs out for a while. Oh hell forget it, you know what you’re doing), the LP begs to differ with your attempt to sing or hum along, and yet still manages to pump your cortex full of more highlights than a Timberlake album. Even when the pace slows down a bit, and you’re riding a candy-railed toboggan across a frozen lake instead of down a craggy cliff, the ice below is perilously thin, and is a boot stomp away from dumping you into a frantic lake of sharks and piss. Nearly every track ends as unexpectedly as a roll of toilet paper, and is followed up immediately with a new direction as refreshing as finding a replacement under the sink.

And even setting aside the craftsmanship of the arrangements, the production is Cadbury rich. The drums shake; the guitars cut; the bass pulses. This is a great record both to listen to and to listen to.

Dry Futures has been available in stores since its retail release on Tuesday, and should be available online from iTunes and Emusic today, or, in person at Bring Back the Gun's record release party tonight, with headliners The Octopus Project and opening act Satin Hooks. It is records like this from bands like this why The Skyline Network exists in the first place. If you’re not into this LP, you should be wary that you might be headed on a path to becoming the sort of music listener who will eventually spend their evenings hitting refresh on perezhilton.com while dry humping their cat.

It should not be overlooked that in the time it took for this record to be written, recorded, re-recorded and now released, locally focused online music coverage has grown to over half a dozen distinct outlets, glossies like Envy and 002 have started paying attention and a number of record labels of varying ambition have added to a solid self-release output that is impossible to keep up with (just ask our inbox). If there ever was a State of the Union for this scene, this would be the record; and the state of the Union is strong. Recommended.

MP3: Bring Back the Guns - In Piles/On File

WEEKEND WRAP-UP: FALLING ON OUR ASS EDITION

You may have heard, but we were a little busy this weekend. So much so that we let a number of things not get done. The fruit-fly population in our office kitchen is beyond epic, to say the least. But, back from a trip to Austin and with the planning and preping and decorating and stage managing and pure rockuledge of some festival or another behind us, we are stoked to be back on the job. Here's the dirt on this past weekend.

• The Feel Good Hits of the Summer Fest was a great time. A big thanks to all the bands, especially Paris Falls, who was kind enough to bring their lighting rig when some problems popped up with The Proletariat's array. The Western Civilization and The Watermarks both moved their cribbage piece up a notch in the category of ACES Local Indie Pop Band You Have Never See Live Which have a Definitive Article in Their Name (we should stop and point out here that Coach Springer, owner of more enviable records and listening taste than we will ever have and consulting muse to the Skyline Network seemed pretty stoked on The Watermarks' set). We could go on and on about all the performances - like whats up Kimonos, way to shred the heck out of a Zeppelin tune?! - but how about that decorating?!
  

• A big thanks again to all the bands, the Proletariat, Gilbert, Dunnock, the hard working folks behind the bar, and the door and in the sound-booth and all the people that showed up. With as much of a success as it was, very unlikely that this will be a one-off. Also, while we didn't see too many flash-bulbs throughout the evening, we did see a few - if you took some pictures, post links in the comments section.

• Speaking of Paris Falls, their first CD, the succinctly titled Volume One, was finally available at the show on Saturday. We picked up a copy and are looking forward to bringing our review of it to you soon.

• Speaking of the Kimonos, their next release is in the mastering stage and we are hopeful to have a sneak peak for you soon.
  

• Speaking of record reviews we are looking forward to bringing you soon, we've been blaring Wicked Poseur's 7" ep around the office for the last week, though sadly we were unable to come up with the words to describe it in time to share with you before his show with Dan Deacon at the Mink last night. We also were so flubterghasted from Saturday that not one of our correspondents actually made it to the show. Had we wrote about it in advance, we would have told you that, Mr Deacon, in an inspired moment, was the source behind the name for Jana Hunter's dance troupe, Bony Poner.
  

• Speaking of Jana Hunter, she left Sunday morning for the next stretch of her tour. Pitchfork has the dates as well as the deets on some other stuff she has going on. For this stretch of the tour she is joined by Ray of the Castanets as well as a photographer whose name we are completely drawing a blank on and cannot locate the napkin we used for notes.
  

• Speaking of people who practice in Jana's living room, we learned that Bring Back the Guns have been notified that they are up for a Houston Press Music Award; ditto for the Fatal Flying Guilloteens (we had previously reported that Something Fierce is also on the ballot).

• Speaking of things we are unable to connect to other things, we ran into Bianca of Heist at Hand over the weekend. She's moved back into town after a series of escapades we'd eventually like to get a summary of, and HAH is gearing up for some shows once again. Welcome back kid.

WOOZYHELMET: NOW 1/3 LESS SUSPECT

NOTHING makes our blood boil with the quickness like hearing that another precious precious Houstonian is packing their bags and moving away from the 713 to pastures somewhat less fertilized and decidedly suspect. Doubly so if their new mascot is a Yankee or a Met. No, we’re not ranting on about Roger “I Hawk Steaks for HEB” Clements here, we’re bemoaning the imminent departure of the fashionable, indomitable, totally unattainable and down-right chuckle-able comedienne Nancy Brown.

But as much as the Lord taketh (and man has he been takething quite a bit lately), so too does He giveth. And, when the smarter-than-an-Encyclopedia Ms. Brown takes the stage to dole out a final(?) set of guffaws, we can take some consolation in knowing that she will be followed by one gentleman in particular who has bucked the brain-train fast lane out of town.

Though he’s been calling our not-needing-rent-control city home for a while now, Tuesday night is one of the best opportunities in a while to catch Jay Crosley’s non-Jracula band Woozyhelmet live and in the air-conditioning (at Rudz) and in the midst of an ACTION PACKED lineup including Birds of Avalon (ex Cherry Valence) and Bring Back the Guns. HAHA – Jokes on YOU comedy workshop. Catch it if you can or if you haven’t already moved away.

(PS: In all seriousness, we wish Nancy and everyone else who needs to stretch their legs a bit beyond our city’s walls all our best and hope they not merely survive, but succeed; also, you are all dead to us.)
(PPS: The other non-suspect place on the map is Buffalo.)

SUNDAY MADLIBS!

Something hotter than a West Alabama lollypop happened in downtown this Sunday... but we're not alloud to talk about it due to non-disclosure paperwork signed by our reliable and wicked good looking sources. Soooo, taking a page from the playbook of another music blog in the city, we thought we'd ask you, our likewise wicked good looking readers, to help do our work for us. Yes, we've got a little game we're going to call ANTI-LIBS. No, this is not an ANTI-FLAG coverband populated entirely by Rush Limbaughs, it's sort of like the game MADLIBS, but instead of a short little piece of writing without the key words, we are giving you the key words and asking you to write a story with them. No, seriously, do our job. And post it in the comment section. HERE BE THY LIST O' WORDS:

SKATERAMP
PARKING LOT SHOW
GALLERY FURNITURE DELIVERY TRUCK
THE NAKED CHEF
BRING BACK THE GUNS
CHARITY
SCREAMING CHILDREN
ACTION SPORTS!
TONY HAWK
BEYONCE'S LITTLE SISTER, CILANTRO
STEDI-CAM
BOOM MIC
SUNSCREEN
AUTOGRAPH
VAN!

Now get to commenting with your story! (PS - we sadly will have to delete any actual eyewitness accounts, if only because they will be boring).

SPRINGTIME FOR HEARTS EVERYWHERE

HEY YOU KNOW WHAT WE LIKE? Springtime, which officially began yesterday. HEY YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WE LIKE? Good shows. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? Unusual places too see said jams. Yes, though our heady and virile and totally still in their 20s staff is just as guilty as anyone as sticking to the trusty trifecta of Montrose venues, it doesn’t hurt to get out once in a while.

CONSIDER THEN seeing Hearts of Animals at HBU tonight, where she’ll be doing a set of her fun-in-thee-springtime-sun guitar and drum machine pop as part of the University’s Awareness Concert Series. Totally free. The show is in the MD Anderson Student center at 8pm and also has the impossible-to-Google Sam Jones on the bill.

CAN’T MAKE IT? Then spend about four minutes visiting HOA’s MySpace, download some tracks (SO ACES when bands let you do that), insert into iPod and go take a nice walk down to the dog-park, the vacant lot with all the birds or atleast the pet store. Enjoy your spring – it's not going to last.

PS: After Hearts of Animals, get back to Walters on Washington to catch Dischord Records’ Antelope, along with local kids Bring Back the Guns and Dizzy Pilot.

SXSW UPDATES

Our intrepid cadre of reporters continues to scour Austin's streets for all the REAL TALK info about SXSW goings on. Here are some check-ins and check-outs:

Carrie Murphy (Awesome!)
Open barz. Wasted by noon. Lotsa Vanz. Hipsters. More Later.

John Adams (Fatal Flying Guilloteens)
Heard Spacehog yesterday. MSTRKRFT mashed it up with Matt and Kim

Matt Brownlie (Bring Back the Guns)
At the Mess With Texas party front and center. Matt and Kim about the play, the someone, then ERASE ERRATA. Not moving from this spot until after Les Savy Fav. Having way more fun than expected.

Jana Hunter
First stop: Marnie Stern, then Health, again. Furniture Records was putting this (amazing show) on, free, at Hole In the Wall. Met Will Adams to pick up the bell set. Biked (in pain) with a heavy bag and a heavier bell set to the church, dropped off the set, biked to Pedernales and 5th for as much as possible of the Dirty Projectors packed and incredible set. Stopped by Arthur tent at the French Legation Museum, to say hi, no one was on. Further gathering of equipment for the show. Ate pizza (and like, wtf, cause I work at a pizza place.) Ran the set. PLAYED IN A CHURCH. Ate a myspace hot dog, slammed beers in the van, watched Nina Nastasia & Jim White.

Highlight of the day - hearing Jim White play in that church. Somehow missed every Baltimore related event all day long, still bummed. Watched Vashti and crew. Watched Castanets (full band, so goooood!) Met Houston at a bar, more Houston, punched folks, had to go, had to
get out of there, helped tremendously by [Guilloteen Shawn] Adolf and [notorious Houston photographer Jordan] Graber in getting a cab, went "home", crashed hard, crashing ever since.

EDIT:

Marnie Stern got turned down and then cut off cause the Willie Nelson bartender fcking HATED it. I liked it.

UPDATE:
sorry. wet brain.

THE MELVINS! were great. Sharber got me in to free food. Rhapsody party? I think. A+ tacos. I think that makes for tacos, pizza and hotdogs yesterday. I win. Ran into [impossible hot/cool Houstonians] Delaney HF and Adriana on campus. They're even hotter when you think they're in college. This is all out of order. There is no method of keeping track. There is no allowance for open containers on 6th street.

In talking to Jim White, discovered that the friend at his side was from Houston. Jonathan Tobin, I think? Dated somebody in deSchmog, left way before I got there, but was familiar/friends with a lot of the old Lexington scene. We talked Houston, mostly to try to explain it to Jim, who seemed curious but wary. Appropriate!

John Hunter (Inoculist, Dethro Skull) and Will Adams decided on starting an annual music conference in Houston.

I won't be out again til later tonight, to bounce around between the Monitor, Carpark, and Ecstatic Peace showcases. I'll try to get some vids, pics, soundbytes.

Thankee to all our contributors, especially Jana, who obviously had more than a cell phone at her disposal for sending in the latest. We'll keep you updated throughout the day and night. ACES! Are you at SXSW? Do you have Houstonesque updates, texts, camera phone pix or videos? Send them to adifferentryan@gmail.com or (713) 202-8968. Don't forget to include your name.

DUMB QUESTIONS/SMART ANSWERS: BRING BACK THE GUNS

Usually on Thursdays we subject you, our readers to the responses to ho hum journalism 101-style questions that we have emailed to a band. This week, however, we are pleased to have had the LOL opportunity to convince Verizon Wireless Theater that we were deserving of a press pass.

Tight and together, the strings and skins punched out their final peak and valley, giving the cue to the audience that it was their time to respond. "TOA-DIES! TOA-DIES! TOA-DIES!” came the retort from a small but vocal segment of the sold-out venue. Try to imagine, being in a band that hasn’t put out an album in over a decade, how great would it be to hear that.

Unfortunately, it was not the Toadies on the stage at this point. It was Bring Back the Guns.

The scene could not be more different from that just five days earlier. Instead of a shout-along crowd 60 that, in many cases, had seen them several if not dozens of time before, they were on the dwarfing stage playing to an audience of 3,200 indifferents and hostiles, with a sprinkling of enthusiasts.


Rewind the tape an hour or so, back to the their dressing room while we’re talking with Guns Matt, Eric and Shaggy (drummer Thomas was out getting food) and our casual REAL TALK is briefly interrupted by way way thunderous applause for openers The Feds.

"hear that, do you hear that? Cause we're not gonna hear that when we play", Shaggy interjects.

You’ve played with the Toadies several times before, Including Monday in Austin, what is it like to play to a crowd that big?
S: it's not the size of the crowd, it's the people that make up the crowd. Austin, for example, shows appreciation through vibe. [changes to a semi hippie voice} How much is this cd? $12?! Boo man! I got your songs in my heart.

M: We were talking about this earlier, we saw some really young kids in a Pixies shirt or a Shins shirt. Those kids I think will like it. Also the age of the crowd, it’s still really young, but there's definitely a lot more 25-30 year olds.

So Austin was younger?
M: Yeah – Austin was super young

Who has a nicer dressing room, Verizon or Stubbs BBQ?
S: At Stubbs we had our own port-a-potty

Did you get a wicked bbq spread at Stubbs?
S: Yeah, oh hey [Eric], I meant to apologize, I left my bbq in your van.
E: Dude I ate that stuff at like 2 in the morning.

So, in that sense, Austin is better than Houston?
S&B in unison: No – never say that

Not even the fact you got free bbq?
S: You can give us the freest bbq in Austin, and I would still pay for Thelmas before I said Austin was better than Houston.


Do you get nervous before shows?
M: I get excited

Is this different?
M: Lil bit - Not even that there are so many people, its just such a weird show. Like, a weird show in front of 30 people its all 'Hey guys, weird show' but then with 3,200 people its like 'hey –we're gonna be weird for a while'

And Matt is right, it is a weird show. BBTG, though a perennial winner of Houston Press music awards, have an appeal that is distinct, unconventional and nearly jarring when sandwiched between a set of Dr. Rockso-esque hootenanny and the familiar jams of a band that still gets radio airplay every day in every city in the nation. So why are they on this bill?

E: It's just bro time. They could have put whoever the hell they wanted on these bills. I was talking to [Toadies member] Clark the other night and he was like 'yeah man, when we decided to play these shows, we thought 'who are our friends?' They brought us here to hang out with us and drink and play a show. They are willing to help out their pals that way. They’ve always done that.”


Whats the worst part about being a band?
S: Waiting for the opening band to finish.

Whats the worst opening band you've even played after?
S: There have been a few. There was a band called The Foilies.
M: No – The Foilies are the BEST band that has ever opened for us –

What makes them the worst and the best?
M: There is seriously no way to tell this story before we go on.


But tell they do, in the last final minutes before leaving their cramped ski lodge vs middle school locker room waiting area, they tell stories of faux-gutter punkers playing terribly and getting literally thrown head-first out the front door by an unforgiving old-schooler. And they take the stage. And they play well. The audience sometimes politely applauds, sometimes genuinely cheers, and sometimes is drowned out by the bro-hams who view BBTG as an obstacle rather than entertainment. The band is authentic. There is no difference between who they are and how they act when they play to those 30 friends or 3,200 strangers. And that’s refreshing. They get it. And so does the crew and the other bands on the side of the stage – their heads nod from appreciation rather than pre-knowledge.

To their largest applause of the night, Matt announces that the Toadies are next and they exit the stage. Reassurances all around: “You can’t mind the cattle man,” “Toadies audiences can be tough”, “Ouch, and this is your home crowd too.” But they don’t really seem to need them. It was fun. It was bro-time. They got a free 12 pack of beer and an excuse to bring family and friends into town. In that sense, from that perspective, was playing Verizon really any different than Noise and Smoke the week before?


We try to engage them in a conversation about The Arcade Fire’s latest record debuting at #2 on the Billboard charts, and if that means something; if worthwhile music is coming back into vogue; if tolerable and un-nascent rock will creep back into the public consciousness as it did back in the era when the Toadies first hit the airwaves. It’s not really an interesting prompt, and not surprisingly, there are better things to talk about: plans for getting to Austin to discuss, Jamison to drink, merch sales to joke about and friends to go see. It was the biggest show on their resume, and it wasn’t really anything. ACES.

MORE VIDEO: BRING BACK THE GUNS @ NOISE & SMOKE

Featuring the crowd-surfing house-plant that singer Matt Brownlie assures us will be there for their performance tomorrow night with The Toadies at Verizon Wireless Theater.

KEEP ME IN PILES KEEP ME ON SWEET SMOKEY MESQUITE FILES

GET YER BIBS ON – The Toadies are dragging Bring Back the Guns kicking and screaming up to Austin on Monday for their sold out show at Stubbs BBQ. As we previously reported, BBTG will also warm up the possum kingdom when the reunited Dallasonians take the stage at Verizon Wireless Theater next Wednesday (also sold out - ATTN: VWT - CAN WE GET SOME PRESS CREDENTIALS PLZ KTHNX).

Oh, and since we’re on the subject, the trumpeters of remembrance will be playing Friday night at Noise and Smoke, have a SXSW appearance at Epoch Coffee and will be visited by the police when they play Walter’s with Antelope and Dizzy Pilot on March 22nd. BRISCUTY.

Smoke Eaters Add Bassist, Fear the Groceries, Record

Not one week from their right-back-at-ya set as the Pixies for Fitzgerald’s You Ain’t Punk showcase, the Smoke Eaters have asked their friend, Kim Deal stand-in, and self-described "Fitz Sound Wench" Lauren to join up full time. In discussing their set, guitarist and Santiago channeler Jay noted that he had both personal and local trepidations about playing as a band whom the harsh laws of the Magna-indie Carta declare un-coverable. Sayeth the smoke:

Had I not been playing I most likely would have been one of you, wondering who the hell thinks they can pull off a set of my beloved Pixies. Trust me, we love the Pixies as much as anyone and wanted to do them justice. I talked to Eric from Bring Back the Guns … and I didn't think to tell him that as we were preparing for this show, I honestly had thought to myself "I wonder what the guys from the Groceries would think?"

Eric’s Response: “They think 'Right On!'”

The Smoke Eaters have one last show (March 10^th at Fitz Downstairs with L.A.’s Sputnik Monroe) before taking time off to record and presumably adjust to their new lineup. Stoked.

Toadies Tap Bring Back the Guns for Opening Slot

Bring Back the Guns, whose van's upholstery looks wicked showroom fresh, will warm up the crowd at Verizon Wireless while the temporarily(?) re-united Toadies wait in the wings. The Guns, who have played with them three times before, got the call from drummer Mark Reznicek earlier this week asking if they wanted to open up "I am barfing six kinds of happiness," IMed a understandably stoked Erik Bogle. Word is that the Guns may be trying to rush out some copies of their latest record for the show, and it has been implied to us that they may have some other on-stage tricks up their sleeve. The Toadies currently have three shows booked for March, all in Texas, and all fueled by the consummate "making it big and then getting screwed by your record company" story. See you in the Kingdom, possum.

The Toadies, Bring Back the Guns
March 14
Verizon Wireless Theater

Everyone you Know to play Noise and Smoke Fest

The weekend before you and your mates will be trying to figure out how to foist one another over the wall at Stubbs, Emos and other SXSW venues for which you will not have the proper credentials, the two day Noise and Smoke festival will be underway here in Houston. For an insultingly low $8/day, you’ll spend Friday (at Notsuoh) and Saturday (at Walter’s The Axiom) seeing just about every act in Houston not signed to French Kiss records. From the cryptically entertaining Cop Warmth to the Pitchfork Mix-tape appearing Indian Jewelry to an apparently drummer-only incarnation of God’s Temple of Family Deliverance, the weekend promises to be an all out race to the finish for livers and eardrums alike. Lineup time:

Friday, March 9th – Notsuoh
Ume, The Ka-Nives, Satin Hooks, Bring Back the Guns, Finally Punk, Jana Hunter, Eat Grapes and Cop Warmth

Saturday, March 10th – Walter’s on Washington The Axiom
Indian Jewelry, Something Fierce, Skullening, God’s Temple of Family Deliverance, The Wiggins, Blades and The Dimes The Sporatics.

Update: word now coming from festival co-organizer and recent brain-drain encourager Joey Promahoney that Noise and Smoke will not only be an annual event, larger in size and scope, but that they anticipate it will include other, smaller, events during the year as well.

CTRL+C; CTRL+V: "Future festivals will more likely not be in a bar setting. ex. Outdoors, a larger hall, or possibly in the middle of nowhere. In addition to the festival, Noise and Smoke will be hosting smaller events, for example, we will be announcing a show seperate from the festival very soon"


More Info: Noise and Smoke Festival

Katrina Relief - Yet More Updates

Some more stuff has been annouced in the way of benefits and ways to get invovled. Plus, the flyer for the Can's For Keg Cups party.

Katrina Benefit September 10th and 11th @ Numbers
2 Days of music with 16 bands, including: Arthur Yoria, Bring Back the Guns, Sharks & Sailors, Spain Colored Orange, Heist at Hand, Inner Lights (Jon Sparrow) + More.

All Ages. Live bands Saturday & all day Sunday.
$8 per event - $12.00 for 2 day pass.

7 pm - 2 am Saturday, September 10
3 pm - 10 pm Sunday, September 11

Donations of clothing, canned goods, and toiletries also welcome.
All donations and bar profits will benefit The McCormick Tribune Foundation Hurricane Katrina Relief Fund and the American Red Cross.

NOAH: Project SHONOF
(repost)A group of Houston musicians led by prominent pianist Paul English, vocalists Gigi Hill and Tianna Hall, Johan Keus and others have formed a group called "NOAH" (New Orleans and Houston) whose mission is to reach out and support the displaced New Orleans musicians by providing them with housing, venues in which to perform, instrument replacement, etc. The project is named: SHONOF (pronounced “sho’nuff”: Safe Harbor for Our New Orleans Friends). Primary goals are:

1. To contact New Orleans musicians, wherever they are, and let them know there is a support group in Houston ready to help them, provide housing, get gigs, etc.

2. To line up apartments, rooms, etc. for these people to live in until they can get on their feet.

3. To organize an instrument clearing house whereby the musicians can get access to needed instruments in order to perform and make a living.

4. To urge local venues--clubs, restaurants, hotels, etc.--to expand their use of live musicians.

5. To organize and hold benefit concerts featuring the New Orleans musicians, supplemented by the best of Houston musicians, to raise money to help the musicians and the project.

6. To share their current gigs with the New Orleans musicians, either by adding a player or two to their performing group or by relinquishing an entire gig.

Contact Info:
Gigi Hill
(713) 503-3518
gigi@noahleans.org
www.noahleans.org